Tangled in Skirts & Lies
by M.S. Dae
Summary: My brother hates me, my friends won’t talk to me, and now my mom’s got me wearing skirts, ON A REGULAR BASIS… Why does my life always go from bad to worse? Arai x Kaoru x Kyouya x Tamaki x Haruhi x Hikaru
1. Frills, Lace, and a Dose of Testosterone

**Thanks so much to amaya no shiori and my biffle/beta reader Sap! This story is a challenge. All plot credit goes to the masters on the** **Ouran High School Fanfiction Club : ) **

**Declaimer- Ouran Host Club is not Mine. The plot isn't even mine. –gasp-**

**Tangled in Skirts & Lies Chapter One **

**Frills, Lace, and a Dose of Testosterone**

Kaoru nuzzled his head into his pillow and tossed the book in his hand lightly across room. It landed with a soft thud, but was subdued by the soft patter of the rain outside his window. He no longer wanted to study for English, and since he was already sprawled across his bed, he might as well take a nap…

And that's when a knock sounded on his door. At first he ignored it, and quietly muttered venomous suggestions of what the intruder might shove up their bottom half. But the knocking grew to pounding, and a shrill feminine voice accompanied it.

"Hikaru! Kaoru! Can I please come in? It's me, your mother!"

"Mmmfh," Kaoru muffled into his pillow, lifting his head an inch above it so that his groan could be heard.

At this the door swung open, revealing a tall blonde haired woman in a silk royal blue robe. As sophisticated as she might otherwise seem, the craze burned in her golden eyes, which were identical to that of her sons, stated otherwise.

"Hikaru! Where's your brother?" She came in, shutting the door behind her.

"I'm...never mind. What do you want?" Kaoru asked, pulling himself from the comfort of his haven to direct his attention towards this demented woman.

"Well…One of my models, she's gorgeous you know, I picked her out personally-"

"Just get on with it," Kaoru placed his tired head in his hands.

His mother's eyes narrowed, then she sighed. "Right. Well anyway, she came down with mononucleosis and is throwing up _everywhere_."

"Isn't that a good thing?" said Kaoru, more to himself then his mother.

But she went on as if he hadn't spoken. "Well there's a shoot today, and the agency just faxed me a picture of the model they're going to replace her with. She's _all wrong_!" She exclaimed, throwing a pouty look at her son as though he sentenced her to this cruel fate. "She'll ruin the face of my summer collection. So, I was thinking about it, and I decided that I could just use you guys! You've got the perfect fa-"

"No," Kaoru said firmly then laid back in his bed and waited for his mother to leave.

But as expected, she did not.

"Please Hikaru! You remember when you were little, you guys _begged_ me to wear the dresses I designed!"

_It was only that one time_, thought Kaoru, suppressing a grin at the memory. _And no begging was involved_.

Yet Kaoru remembered it clearly.

"_Okay you guys, pick out outfits from Mommy's collection!" Said the young mother enthusiastically as she motioned to her sons the room filled with articles of high fashion. _

_The twins stepped into the room and spent several minutes looking through racks, almost bored as they did so. But then one of them stopped. _

"_This one," said Hikaru, pointing at the mannequin before him._

_Kaoru came to his side, and then pointed to the mannequin beside it. "And I want this one."_

_Their mother looked at the two of them, baffled. "Bu-But those are _girl _dresses…"She said, eyeing the pair of ruffled dresses, with large silk sashes around the waist. _

_They both turned to look at her expectantly. "So?" said one._

"_You always wanted a girl," said the other. _

_And so they wore the dresses._

Kaoru flashed back to the present, the grin managing its way onto his aggravated face. But it quickly faded when he realized his mother was still talking. In fact, she was on her knees. _Sobbing._

"I-I'm too young to have my career _ruined_ like this! What will they say about Clarice Hitachiin now? That she is a failure? Not even forty and she can't hold her career down! Oh ho-"

"Fine I'll do it."

His mother looked up from the ground she'd been bawling to, baffled. "What?" She obviously hadn't expected it to be that easy.

"I said I'll do it. Just stop blubbering," Kaoru stood from his bed and walked towards his dresser to pick out clothes to change into. He didn't think these kinds of things would be fun alone, but maybe he could do it again sometime with Hikaru.

"Oh thank you, thank you! You know, you always were my favorite son! Kaoru never quite appreciated his mother the way you do!" She stood from the floor and went over to hug her son, the curls that had been trapped in a bun now messily tossed around her mascara running face.

Kaoru backed away, avoiding the hug. "Could I have a moment to dress? Alone?" He asked.

"Oh…how thoughtless of me, of course! Thank you again Hikaru, I'll see you downstairs," She walked towards the door, and was almost gone, when he responded.

"Kaoru."

"I'm Sorry what was that?" She took a final look back at her son from the open door.

"I'm Kaoru. Not Hikaru."

The shoot took place in his mother's studio on the first floor of the Hitachiin Estate. The entire affair was mildly amusing, but only because he imagined Hikaru's reaction to the entire thing. Once Hikaru got back from the date with Haruhi Kaoru had arranged, he would tell him everything.

The makeup artists and women in wardrobe dressed him from head to toe in complete drag. He thought he would have been use to this, given the numerous times he dressed as women in Host Club cosplay, but this was entirely different. No hint of his masculinity was allowed. The makeup was incredibly overdramatic, his eyeliner swept into "cat eyes" and his lips beaded with multicolored rhinestones. The wig was long and light brown with purple extensions, and the director of the shoot constantly talked about how the color of his eyes would be edited to match the tone of this and that…

When Kaoru looked in the mirror, he was shocked. Sure, he looked like a Hitachiin, but more like the fashion-obsessed daughter his mother had always wanted. When it came time for the photographers, Kaoru kept a bland expression, which the photographers loved and constantly called "sexy" and "feisty".

While he was changing and having his face cleaned by blushing twenty-somethings, his mother came over to him, bouncing elatedly.

"Kaoru! You're the new star!" she gushed. "Couldn't you do this again for us? Please?"

Kaoru turned to her, half his eye makeup blurred down his cheek from his sudden movement.

"Sure. If Hikaru can come."

"Oh that's even better! The director will love you two! Thank you so much Kaoru!" She went into to hug him, but Kaoru sent her a glare that stopped her in her tracks.

"Well, the shoot is at your school, next Sunday morning. I'll see you later at dinner, Ciao!" She blew a kiss in the air and was gone.

_In front of Ouran huh? This could be fun._ He thought.

Later that evening Hikaru came home. Kaoru had eaten dinner alone despite what his mother had said. She was already off in Rome for a last minute invitation she had received to her rival's fashion show.

"Oh man do I have news to tell you," Kaoru grinned. "But you first. How was your date?"

Hikaru looked at him solemnly as he peeled off his wet clothes. "Well, it was okay. And then it started pouring out, so we couldn't go to the festival in the park. It's been rescheduled for next Sunday."

Kaoru's hand paused (he was doing the English he avoided earlier), and he put down his pencil as the thought crossed his mind. "Next Sunday?"

"Yeah. So what was it you needed to tell me? Sounded interesting," Hikaru took up Kaoru's previous grin as he pulled a dry shirt over his head.

"Oh…I was just going to tell you about the outfit I picked out for Haruhi, it's very _revealing_…" Kaoru smiled convincingly back at his brother. He couldn't ruin this chance of his brother's for his own selfishness. He would just simply call off the shoot. It would be that easy. At least, that's what he thought.

And so the lies began.


	2. It began with harmless half truths

**_Disclaimer- not only do I not own Host Club or any of the characters, the central ideas of this story do not belong to me. Also, I omitted honorifics the text in order to stay consistent. I apologize for my over-wordiness, but I figured rewriting this would never happen, so I might as well post it as is. Also I'm sorry that the twins' mother is not consistent with canon! I only learned about her too late (thanks to Momoyoubi for that heads up!) so she will remain as is for the sake of the plot I created. _**

_**Otherwise, I'm a tard for not updating, please excuse my neglect! Hopefully, in spite of all its faults, it will be an enjoyable enough read! And thanks to all reviewers, feedback is always encouraging :D!!**_

_**Onwards:**_

**Tangled in Skirts & Lies Tangled in Skirts & Lies**

**Chapter Two**

**It began with harmless half-truths**

"You know that's only a game _we_ play alone," Kaoru blushed slightly, seeking Hikaru's eyes for any betrayal of amusement.

Hikaru inched his face closer, creasing his eyebrows in fraud concern to prove he wouldn't give in. "But I can't go on another second…"

Kaoru had to admit, he was getting good.

The customers squealed in delight, some throwing comments like, "It's too beautiful!" or, "What do they play?!"

The two continued their games, and their own personal game of 'who cracks a smile first' until Kyouya called it to a close.

The girls filed out, sighing as they did so, either from the wonders of the beauty they witnessed, or from disappointment that it suddenly ended.

Kaoru put a dish on the wheeled cart and was surprised after a while to find Tamaki was not anywhere within his line of vision. Usually, at this time (after he had finished sulking the dismissal of the customers) he was bouncing around, chirping excitedly about the chores of commoners. Manual clean up was his idea, and one of his favorites.

But he didn't have to wonder long before he heard Hikaru's subtle snicker.

"What is it?" asked Kaoru, turning to his brother behind him.

"Milord's in his corner. I think he's been there like that for the past two hours."

Tamaki was in fact in the far corner of the room, but was not brooding in his fetal position as expected. Instead, he sat in the corner staring off at nothing, with a dazed and almost mortified look on his face. Now that Kaoru had come to think of it, the twins did seem to have more customers today than usual.

"Hey Kyouya," Hikaru smiled cruelly as he called out to the Demon Lord. Kaoru could tell he was ready to pounce. Kaoru wouldn't mind joining him either. But if only Tamaki's face wasn't so unreadable…

Kyouya acknowledged Hikaru, readjusting his glasses with a slight push. Haruhi was right behind him. They had obviously been discussing something.

"Yes?"

"What's up with Milord? Did Lady Carp give him more than he could handle?" his eyes gleamed mischievously.

"It appears our "lord" has made some astounding revelation today. Bother him if you'd like. I doubt his response will be of any interest," and with that he turned back to Haruhi to continue their discussion.

But Kaoru had caught something as Kyouya was speaking. Was it a smile? It was so subtle it was almost impossible to tell if it was there or not. But he could've sworn there was something.

"This'll be fun," Hikaru smirked. No word of Kyouya could ever discourage this passion of his.

Hikaru and Kaoru joined Hunny and Mori before Tamaki's brooding corner. Hunny was fruitlessly trying to get Tamaki to eat some cake. He had apparently accepted BunBun however, hugging the doll closely to his chest.

"Milord, have you just discovered the true identity of a patron? Or have you learned of our dirty conspiracy to corrupt your dear Haruhi?" Hikaru taunted gleefully.

Something quickly flashed through Tamaki's violet eyes, as though he recognized something. Hikaru had found it. Bull's eye.

"Haru…?" Tamaki stared up at Hikaru, his mouth agape, dropping bunbun to his lap.

Kaoru couldn't do it. The look in Tamaki's eyes, it was too lost, and too hopeless. There was no desire, only bafflement. It was too sincere. Too painfully sincere.

**--**

"What do you mean I 'can't cancel'?" growled Kaoru, not wishing to wake any servants in the middle of the night. Not that he would be too upset if he did.

"Kaoru, darling, you see, you have a contract…" His mother smiled timidly as she closed the door to the dining room behind her, the swish of her pink silk nightgown sweeping gently against it.

"I never signed any contract."  
"Well um actually," His mother shifted uncomfortably, glancing down quickly at the marble floor. "Yes you did."

Kaoru hesitated for a moment and then sighed. "Great. So you forged my signature? Well listen, I'm still not doing it."

"There'll be a whole lawsuit and everything if you do that! They love you Kaoru! Can't you just, screw up? Then they'll fire you, and my name will be safe…"

"Is that all you think about?" Kaoru sneered. "You're name?" Kaoru walked over to the door, approaching his mother as he did so.

"I'll do this last shoot, and they're going to regret they ever hired me to begin with," Kaoru opened the door, pushing his scantly clad mother aside. What came to his mind was only in anger, not what he was cruel enough to do, but in his spiteful and malicious mood he voiced it regardless.

"And who knows? Maybe the media will get a bit of gossip on Clarice Hittachin. Maybe about how she so cruelly fires employees because of eating disorders. Maybe about how she forcefully dresses her own son as a woman and then forges his signature. Who knows. Maybe."

With that he let the door fall shut behind him, leaving his mother to brood over her son's words with regret.

Sunday morning came and the twins were up; Hikaru was getting ready for his date with Haruhi.

"Sure you don't want to come, Kaoru?" Hikaru asked as he pulled a light blue shirt over his tousled hair.

"I'll be fine…I'm going over Hunny's house anyway remember? Here, put on this jacket," Kaoru handed his brother a well-fitted tan jacket knowing full well that Haruhi wouldn't appreciate it's sophistication. _But at least I'll know I tried_, he thought.

"Oh right…"

"Hurry up. Yoshi is waiting in the limo," Kaoru said after he peeked through the window.

"Alright. Have fun with Hunny," Hikaru gave his brother a questioning glance as he pulled the jacket over his shoulders.

Kaoru just smiled. Hiding things from his brother was not fun. Nor was it easy. But having an excuse helped him feel protected from the secret he never wanted to keep.

"See you later than," Hikaru waved and with that he left.

Kaoru threw himself on his bed and groaned, knowing the rest of the day would be quite a challenge.

Kaoru arrived at the photo shoot nearly half an hour late. It was his intention to come off as obnoxious and high maintenance as possible, but it didn't seem that the director cared. In fact, it was as if he almost embraced it. Whatever it took for him to keep that sassy look.

"Yes, that's it, give more love to the camera-perfect!" the fat man in the dark suit raved.

Kaoru stuck out his tongue, made crude gestures, even began wailing pointlessly about monkeys while crossing his eyes. Apparently this was all considered _sexy_. Eventually Kaoru was so tired he sat down in the fountain he had been posing in front of and pushed down every inch of the dry-clean only skirt and cashmere scarf in the pool.

The director quickly realized this was all Kaoru was interested in doing and called for the flashing to stop and ordered several of the girls on set to retrieve towels for Kaoru.

As blushing assistants were patting him dry, the director approached him.

"Kaoru, darling, is everything alright?" He sang in a cheery and fake manner, waving around his flamboyantly iced fingers.

"Listen…I don't even know your name. And I really don't care. All I want to do is go home-"

"A break! A break of course, why didn't I think of that? Yuki-san fix the schedule for a break, as long as he needs, call the limo service to take him to the-"

Kaoru pushed passed the large man and away from Ouran High. He needed time to think, away from the chaos.

--

Across the street was Kaoru's favorite pastry shop; a simple one filled with milling commoners and disposable plates that Hunny had introduced to the twins. As common as it was he loved it all the same, perhaps because of its simplicity. He was often too haughty to admit it, but as much as he loved the lavish and the outlandish, the ordinary held its own charm that at times like these (when he wanted nothing more than to just blend in) he couldn't resist.

Upon entering he found that it was quite empty for a Sunday, with only an old man and his grandson in the corner. Kaoru walked up to the counter and glanced at the items on display. He didn't care much for sweets in general, but the Azuki-filled one looked pretty good.

"Can I help you?"

Kaoru tore his eyes from the display to see the cashier who looked very familiar. And then he remembered.

"Arai," he remembered the boy they had met over summer vacation in Karuizawa, the one that Hikaru had a particular distaste for. He almost didn't recognize him in that green apron and silly cap.

Arai gave him a puzzled look. "Do I know you?"

Crap. Kaoru had forgotten his drag ensemble. He needed a quick save. "How do you know my name?"

"I don't…"

"I'm Ootori Fuyumi," Kaoru smiled at Arai, as well as his own quick thinking. "Who're you?"

"Um, Kajiwara Arai. Can I get you anything Ms. Ootori?" he smiled politely, although a slight crease in his brow revealed some worry.

"Yes, I'll have the Azuki pastry, the one with the sesame seeds," Kaoru nodded over to the pastry in question and gave a small, girlish giggle for effect. Suddenly the wheels in his head were turning.

"Here you are. That will be 625 yen," Arai handed him the treat in a Styrofoam box but Kaoru wouldn't take it just yet. He took out his wallet (which thankfully was an androgynous brown leather) and slowly flipped through his collection of plastic.

"You see Arai, I'm Ootori Kyouya's sister," Kaoru batted his eyelids idly until he saw some sort of recognition flash through Arai's face. "And I've learned through him that you're an old schoolmate of Haruhi's, please correct me if I'm mistaken."

"No, you are quite correct," he smiled politely, wondering where Kaoru was going with all this.

"Yes well, I've been trying to learn more about her, because I desperately want her friendship. There's something so unique about her, wouldn't you agree?" Kaoru toyed with his debit card before thumbing through his cards once again.

"Oh, yes. Haruhi is very…different to say the least," Arai now gave a genuine smile, fooled by Kaoru's guise.

"Then perhaps we could exchange numbers and I could message you sometime? It would be great to hear from a person that has such an intimate relationship with Haruhi's past."

"Oh, I wouldn't say _intamite_," Arai blushed.

"You're just being modest," Kaoru finally pulled out cash instead, deciding this was going exactly where he wanted. "Besides, even if you didn't, does it ever hurt to have a pretty girl's number?" Oh he was good. Genius even.

Arai's cheeks burned brightly now as he gave a tentative nod. "A-alright then," Kaoru handed him his phone and Arai punched in his number.

"It was nice meeting you, _Arai_," Kaoru finished flirtatiously, handing him 2000 yen before turning away towards the door, box in hand. He put an extra thrust in hip as he walked, forcing the damp frock to sway slightly. He heard Arai begin to protest at the amount, but he continued onwards, sparing him one last smile before he left. As the door shut behind him, he couldn't help but let out a laugh. As awful as the day had been so far his endurance had been rewarded. It was only unfortunate that Hikaru was not there to share it with him.

But he did get what he wanted after all, he reminded himself. He had another way to get closer to Haruhi, which in turn meant getting Hikaru closer to Haruhi. That in itself was success, and he didn't even have to try that hard.

As Kaoru was about to cross the street his phone vibrated in his pocket. It was a text message from Hikaru.

_How's it going at Hunny's?_

Why would Hikaru need to text him if he was out with Haruhi? This was not a good sign. As he began to type out this very question someone grabbed at his elbow.

"Kaoru, darling!" his mother beamed down at him, followed by several of the wardrobe girls from earlier. "They just need a few more shots of your lovely face and then we can go out for some Thai food if you wish…" she carried on with mindless chitchat and led him across the street. Kaoru was too absorbed in his phone to notice. Apparently things were getting awkward. Was he going to have to coach Hikaru through this?

"And they changed the location darling, hopefully to your liking, they were so concerned…"

Kaoru wanted nothing more than to slap that blabbering woman across the face. He didn't care where she was taking him; Hikaru had spent the last hour not talking to his date!

But maybe he should have paid attention. Maybe he should have cared.

After all, every lie begins with a harmless half-truth.


End file.
